Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
