Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
that may or may not have been my penis.
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