You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
