there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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