dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
