I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
