Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
