So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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