No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
