I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
