i would punch a child for taco bell
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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