You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize