he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
