it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
