That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
