I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
