Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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