you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize