Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
