people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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