I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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