He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
