Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
