lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
