I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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