Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Starry_Eyed_43 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(813): View more from Florida

Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed

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(913): View more from Kansas

You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #

(816): View more from Missouri

ah tequila...

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(662): View more from Mississippi

After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.

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(406): View more from Montana

And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha

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(417): View more from Missouri

Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.

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(432): View more from Texas

Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?

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(757): View more from Virginia

Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.

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(813): View more from Florida

It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.

(407): View more from Florida

That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!

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