ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize