Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
