Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
