Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
