well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
