we have pet lesbian snakes
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
that may or may not have been my penis.
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