What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
