i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
