This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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