He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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