there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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