Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
