"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My hand turned me down
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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