I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
