I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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