Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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