he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
