woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
