I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
