I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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