Buhtt sex?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
