Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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