are you still at the devil's house?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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