Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize