so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
