Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
