If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
